So basically if you're in Dublin and don't go to the birthplace of Guinness, then you're either an AA chapter leader (what are you doing in Ireland?) or you have a complete disdain for anything culturally, socially, historically, philanthropically, and downright deliciously relevant.

The Guinness Storehouse is one of the top attractions in Ireland and can be reached via a long walk or short cab ride from O'Connell Street / any downtown Dublin thoroughfare.

Secret of the pros: Book online for a 10% discount, which can even be done from the ticketing area lobby. 20 Euro / ticket x 2 = 40 Euro x .10 = 4 Euros you save right off the bat, or in laymen's terms: One Free Pint of Guinness. You're welcome lads.

Spare yourself the headache of waiting for a guided tour / absorbing information at the pace of a collective -- the storehouse is designed to be experienced in your own time on your own terms, and audio guides are available for those who can't read. Self-guided tours are the way to go *Insert Red 100 hundred graphic here*

The Storehouse is loaded with extremely insightful trivia about the legacy of Arthur Guinness and his beloved creation, as well as an in depth examination of the brewing process. Advertising campaigns throughout the brand's history are also included, and we particularly liked the various screening rooms where they have regional promos on loop -- if you've never seen the plug with the Sapeurs of Brazzaville, I implore you to watch it here RIGHT NOW

There is also a wealth of information about the social benefit / philanthropic projects that manifested as a result of the companies economic proliferation. There's a fantastic gallery with characters from the history of Dublin speaking about how their lives were positively impacted by the rise and prominence of Guinness, and you can almost feel that they are in fact real people and not the smug propaganda of a filthy rich multinational corporation patting itself on the back.

The price of admission includes a pint from either the 'pull your own Guinness' experience on the fourth floor (Who's counting?) or the 'you pull my Guinness like always because I just came here by mistake and I have no imagination' experience at the Gravity Bar up top. The Gravity Bar features 360 degree eagle eye views of Dublin, but if you go anytime around or after lunch it apparently gets packed (our experience + search engine yields) so consider settling for one of the three or four bistro bars one floor below -- they have the exact same views + offerings and we didn't have to constantly elbow jockey with boisterous crowds of Snapchatting hooligans who abused the free cologne samples at the Dublin Airport.

From the crowded arena of the Gravity Bar

Deftly pulling our own Guinness' — Deftly **pulling** our own Guinness'

I personally recommend trying one (or two or three) of the flights at Arthur's Bar. They call them 'paddles' and you can select three 5 oz pours from a number of different Guinness brews on offer. We sampled the West Indies, Extra Stout, Foreign Extra Stout, and Black Currant varieties to name a few. The only question I had is what they do with the rest of the brew once they pop a bottle open to pour your taster -- I ordered the Extra Stout several times and they always opened a new bottle to pour it before disappearing with the remainder to an...underground bunker?

When you're finished with your merry reveling, hop into one of the many waiting taxis right outside and galavant into the Dublin night like the red faced train wreck that you are. You'll fit right in.

Guinness Storehouse, Dublin